So I decided to document every day on this little spontaneous trip I’m on. I wanted to have a little “journal” of my process of healing and what I’m going through mentally as I step out of my comfort zone for this journey I’m on

ENJOY!

DAY ONE THOUGHTS.. 

•On the way to the train station. Feeling numb. Is this actually happening? It doesn’t really feel real. Mind is a little foggy.

•I see my favourite band the Glorious Sons at the train station right beside me. Okay, yep this made me smile, this is going to be a good day.

•I’m on the train, and realize that my ticket  is for THE WRONG TUESDAY, fuck. Of fucking course it is. Instead of panic, I still sit there, indifferent and numb to any real stress. When your mental health is so bad, it goes past the point of getting overwhelmed easily, to just feeling numb. So I guess that came in handy. I just calmly called Via rail, and figured it out, and it was all good. Good job Laurissa, you got

dis. 

•Then I get an email saying my flight has been cancelled because of an ice storm. Aweeeeesome. Still feel no stress or anything. Beginning to think my fight or flight response must be broken from me being in it so much the past few weeks.. 

•Luckily my cousin lives in Ottawa and she was an angel and picked me up, and I hung out at her place for awhile. I didn’t even stress about making sure I had a new flight time... until pretty last minute.

This is so unlike me ...

•I checked, and it got rescheduled for early the next morning. Sweet. I didn’t have to make any phone calls, so this girl was happy. That’s a win in my books. 

•I stayed at a hotel right by the airport, and threw on “California love” by Tupac to get myself pumped. I booked the trip just the night before so I didn’t have a chance to let it all soak in. As soon as it started playing I felt a little bit of myself awaken inside and get pumped up. Then I googled things to do in San Fransisco/ Sunnyvale area to get myself excited. It all started to feel more real, and I started to feel some emotion come back into me, excitement!! So I got myself settled into bed (and needed to use al the extra comforters I could find—why the F was it so cold?!) and watched a show until I fell asleep, so I could wake up at 3am for my flight ....